Couples Counseling Ann Arbor
and Across Michigan
Affirming Couples Therapy for all relationships, genders and sexualities
The first thing to go in a relationship is the loving, kind, communication. Conflict avoidance and resentment tend to creep in after the initial loving stage of a relationship. Catching the changes before they become problematic enables couples to utilize tools to improve their relationship long term.
Some topics people seeking couples or relationship therapy may be interested in addressing:
Infidelity
Sexual mismatch or desire discrepancy
Opening your relationship or struggles within an already open relationship
Cyclical fights with limited repair
Life transitions and their impact on your relationship
Should I stay or should I go?
Reconnect and recommit to communicating and showing up in your relationship.
You want to reconnect but don’t know how, at times you feel desperate and your attempts to reach your partner are simply not working. You are in pain, stressed, and unsure what to think about the future of your relationship and dont know how to talk about it. You are overwhelmed at the thought of setting boundaries with the people in your life and end up in a pattern that doesn’t serve you.
Avoiding difficult conversations for fear of the fight that will follow?
Searching for and finding a therapist to address your pain points is not an easy journey. In fact, it is downright exhausting. Reaching out is the next step to achieving your relationship goals.
You and your partners keep running round and round on the same disagreements and it is quite frankly getting tired. You find yourselves stuck in a non stop loop with the same themes and conflicts. You have drifted apart from one another. Your relationship has lost that spark you had in the beginning. Perhaps, you struggle with conflict and find yourself holding your cards close and not sharing how you are feeling anymore, to avoid the inevitable big blow up.
Maybe you aren't screaming and yelling at each other, but you also aren't feeling loved or connected.
Staying emotionally and physically connected for the long haul takes work and intentionality. We are sold an idea of love that is carefree and easy and that simply isn’t how love and relationships play out in the real world.
Couples/relationship sessions will be tailored to your relationships needs and involve real time skill building.
We will roll up our sleeves and address what has gone untouched for a long time in your relationship. I will engage you in 4-6 sessions of assessment and skill building then we will practice those skills in session. The skills you learn will be part of “homework” between session. Individual therapy is done similarly and the out of session work will be individually tailored to your specific counseling goals. I expect clients will take an active role in meeting their goals, and utilizing the tools provided is a great way to do so. When working with individual clients the time between sessions is often framed with something to reflect upon and share during the next session.
Everyone deserves an affirming place to explore, heal, and reconnect.I am trained in sex therapy, couples/relationship counseling and am kink and polyamory affirming. I take a non pathologizing stance and believe you are the expert of your own life. By taking a curious stance I create a space that feels not only safer to discuss difficult topics but also engages your life story. I provide support in a way that values your unique voice.
Marriage Counseling can help you:
Have difficult conversations
Clearly state your boundaries and desires
Explore what you actually want out of your relationship
Build intimacy through improved communication
Discuss the possibility of divorce in the presence of a therapist
Everything we do in couple’s therapy will be tailored to you & your partner.
Attachment
Have you ever noticed there are certain ways each of you behave during a fight that seems to follow a pattern? One of you may shut down while others continuously try to keep engaging and the push pull of this attachment dance leads everyone to feel more frustrated, and fights get down right nasty sometimes.
Intimacy and Connection
Sex used to be slam against the wall hot and now its ho-hum regular degular. You want to want sex but you cant stop thinking about the fight last week, or even more frustrating, the fight you wish you had last week. You have kinks or sexual interests you are afraid to share, or not quite sure how to talk about and want a space like therapy to bring up your innermost desires.
Frequently asked questions about couples therapy
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Typically I like to meet with everyone individually at least once at the beginning of our work together. This is an excellent time for me to do some solo assessing, get to know you a bit outside of your relationship, and discuss your family of origin and any related patterns you may already be aware of.
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I think the biggest factor in couples/relationship therapy “working” is seeking therapy before things are desperate in your relationship. That doesn’t mean you are a lost cause if things are feeling hopeless, but seeking help before that is beneficial. Another important factor is doing the assignments and skills between sessions. If you are meeting with your therapist for an hour a week, there are so many other hours of that week to be practicing your new skills.
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Therapy can be scary. Many many many people are worried about being judged or shamed for how they move through the world. It makes a lot of sense your partner may be reluctant. Often when we have a discussion with a partner and get curious about how they are feeling and what they are thinking they feel as though they are an active participant in the discussion. I will send you paperwork that asks you to reflect on what you individually want to do to improve your relationships, go into a conversation with your partner with a similar mindset.
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I cant tell you how many times this has been a concern from potential clients. Worried I am going to judge them and will be sitting here nailing it and absolutely perfect in all of my relationships. WRONG. News flash, I am also human and royally mess up my own life. However, I do have skills and training to bring things back around and that I can share with you to do the same. I think it is human nature to judge others, but I try really hard to put myself in peoples position and find the pain. if I can find the pain and where people are stuck, I can show empathy and understanding. Besides, judging clients doesn’t usually do so well in helping them make the changes they want to make. I have seen judgmental therapists myself and that is a HARD PASS for me!